A “Burned Out” Marriage

I recently talked to a dear friend of mine whom I went to high school with and she is going through a “burned-out” marriage. I was told by her that her husband of 3 years came home and told her that the landlord told him they had to leave their apartment ASAP because of back rent. While telling her this he was about to leave to go to Biloxi,MS (which I think he planned) to play with his band. He left her there by herself to pack up her things and his too. Now, from the way she was talking she was in complete shock (and I understand why) that her husband went to Biloxi without helping her pack up. She phones her mom and was told to leave his things and bring hers home. So she did.

Well, it has now been a couple of days and she has not heard from her husband, no call, text, nothing. The only way they were able to talk was if she called him. When she did, he told her that they should separate. Not only that he told her it would be ok if she cheated on him and that he would forgive her….hmmmm. Seems to me the little shit is cheating too. He told her that their separation took the stress from him and he can not do the things that he wants to do. CJ (my friend) took it as though he was tired of being around her and it was her fault the reason he could not do the things that he wanted to do.

I did not really know what to tell her to do, other than get a divorce from his coward ass, but I do know the signs of cheating. I had to tell her the truth about what I thought and I knew she would not want to hear it, but what kind of friend would I be if I told her to give it a try. What i do know about a marriage is that it takes two to make it work. And with SS (the husband) being “burned out” of their marriage, he have to want to make it work as well. Earlier in the marriage she was telling me how she wants to go back to her college dating ways (was not a good outcome). They are on a second life website called IMVU and CJ meets these random guys telling her things that her husband should be saying to her. She uses these guys for comfort, something that she does not get from her husband.

I wish I could give her the advice that she needs.

My first Heartbreak!

I am at this very moment experiencing heartbreak…or atleast I guess its heartbreak. I havent been with this guy going on 2 1/2 years now and all of a sudden my feelings that I had for him in the very beginning is coming back. He recently, just a couple of days ago told me he was dating someone else. Thats when those unexpected feelings came back. When we ended the 5 year relationship, we still talked about one or twice a month. There were some days where i needed to hear his voice. Its not that I wanted him back because I ended the relationship for a reason, but I miss that companionship. Anyway, when he told me he was with someone else I wanted to hide somewhere and just cry, but I held it in and eventually broke down. I dont know why. Maybe its that he has someone and i dont, its because I now cant talk to him and call him out of the blue like I use to. I feel shut off from him. I used calling him every once in awhile to slowly get over him and eventually stop calling him all together. Am I still in love with him? But im not attracted to him. I dont want him back though. I just miss having a companion. I feel as though I cannot get rid of him. All memories are resurfacing when I go places. im afraid to run into him. I feel like Im going to be single for the rest of my life. I dont like to be heartbroken.

How would your life be different if you had grown up without any siblings?

If had grown up without any siblings I would be spoiled as Hell. I don’t think I would have like to have grown up without any siblings because the feeling of being alone and having no one to talk to or be there for me would not be fun. My childhood life would have not been different but my life now would be, because my oldest sister, middle sister, and brother are there when I have boyfriend problems. I would not have had a sister to explain to me what do when I blossomed into womanhood or the red devil or riding the cotton pony… you get the picture. Being that I have siblings I could not imagine not growing up with them. Sometimes I wish i had a sibling my age, my sibs now are 10-15 years older than me, 23.

An I Dont Give a Damn Mood

 Earlier today I was trying to do something with my damn hair and with it being kinky and curly it was very frustrating. The very reason I went natural was because I thought it was a beautiful thing to wear my hair and because it would be healthier and easier to manage, so I thought. My hair has its days where it’s really pretty and days where im like i need a damn perm because it wont act right. Sigh! I am the type of person who does not like to comb, brush, or style my hair or anyone elses. That’s another reason I went natural. I hate buying hair care products because I think it kind of waste to buy something that more than likely wont even work. MONEY WASTED! All I care about it the health of my hair, not the length. My hair has frustrated me today to where I just don’t give a damn how it looks  or whatever. Right now its a FRIZZY MESS!  I got mad at it and instead of pulling it out I threw away stuff that I just don’t give a damn about anymore. For me that was a good thing. I need to declutter. 🙂

Alternative veterinary and human medicine

This year I have certainly been into holistic medicine from humans to animals. I recently also found out about holistic veterinary medicine which changed my mind about traditional veterinary medicine. In doing my research I like the idea that disease and other ailments should be looked deeper inside the body considering whether something minor such as anxiety could contribute to a life or death disease. The anxiety relief should be solved in order to control the disease that was caused by anxiety. If that makes sense. I also think that using natural medicines are better and more environmentally safe. It is still a ton of things about alternative veterinary medicine that I don’t know and want to learn about. If I practiced this is the near future I would also use traditional medicine as a back up plan. I have not read too much on human alternative medicine, but am willing to learn. Since I have not been treated with natural medicine, is it too late or how will my body respond to this if I start? Hmmmm…

What are my Health and Beauty Resolutions?

I saw this question while reading another blogger blog and thought I would answer.

 

[What are your health and beauty resolutions?]

 

My new health resolutions are to of course eat more healthy meals and to focus more on portion control. I have had a hard time in the past with fad diets and even tried to start my own. Did not Work. Um..so I came to the conclusion that diets were not for me. I had a problem with letting go of the foods that I ate. I’m not a sweet junkie but I have a thing for powdered donuts and lately skittles. Don’t know why, I just do. I also love pastas and bread, that was a big problem in all of the diets  that I tried. So, I researched and came up with something that was easy to do and so I could still eat what I liked but ate in smaller portions. It really helped and saw quick results, so i am happy and confident about that. Also with my health I am trying to get into the habit of eating more vegetarian foods. I have no problem eliminating meat but the reason I do not eat meat is for ethical reasons. If I said it was disgusting, like I have heard from some people, I would be lying to myself and others. Cause its damn good if you cook it right. I try to take vitamin supplements too. I want a holistic health, and what i mean by that is, nothing with chemicals, which is hard to find nowadays. In terms of beauty, I don’t use much and I try to keep it to a minimum. I cant use many things on my face because I have really sensitive skin. No foundation (don’t need it anyway), no eye shadow (gets rubbed off). I use lipstick/gloss, or light eye liner (no black, makes me look dead). For the rest of  my body I try to cut out buying store lotions, instead I make my own. I mainly use unrefined shea butter mixed with my fave essential oils or I will just use a light olive oil. I also make my own perfumes with water and a fave essential oil. I have a few fragrances that I purchased as well. But, I am getting in the habit of making my own beauty products. I also use the same things for my kinky hair.

It Happened Again

Caring for animals is desire of mine and taking care of an animal that you have never had before is really difficult. I have not felt this way in a long time. I had to and still have to take care of 4 kittens, but have to pay more attention to the runt. I tried to make the little thing as comfortable as possible and feed him as often as I could. This brought me back to when I was 7 years old wanting to take care of a beagle pup that was really ill, he was also a runt. I couldn’t do anything with me being the age that I was. I did not know what a veterinarian was then. But what I did know was that I wanted to be the doctor that took care of animals. If humans have a doctor I was sure that there could be a doctor for animals as well. Seventeen years later this is still what I want to do. The little kitten reminded me to keep my dream so that if this situation comes up again that I will know what to do and save a life.

Kandis